It’s 10:53 p.m., and I don’t even know who has won.
The truth is, I can’t get myself to watch the game.
I know it’s over, one way or the other…I just don’t know if I’m happy or sad.
You see, I came into this season ready for the worst. Prepared for a long season of losses, frustration and, for the one season at least, futility.
But instead, despite my most desperate attempts to stifle it, I began to grow hopeful. Hopeful for the short-term at first. Hopeful that, on any given night, the Sens might just win. Then I tried, with little result, to fight the urge for hope, hope that this team could actually make the post season.
If you read my blog earlier in the year, you will have noticed my constant refrain that I did not believe this team could make the play-offs. I was saying this every chance I had, to fight the growing seeds of expectation.
As the season went on, and the wins continued, I started to see a strange correlation between my posting, and the team losing.
I am the last person to be superstitious, but as the season went on, I became more and more so, to the point that, with the post-season within reach, I stopped blogging.
How crazy is that?
Then, when the Sens lost in the post season, after \I blogged, I just could not get myself to post at all. As if my blogging would decide the fate of the team I love.
Nuts…but no more nuts than allowing a game to actually matter. A game you don’t have any influence over.
And maybe that’s the root of it all. Winning matters, and we fans are powerless to make it happen, so we develop these absurd ways of trying to exert some sort of influence.
I know, even if the Sens have lost, I’m not disappointed.
But I will be sad to see this season end.
If they’ve won…well, don’t expect another post any time soon.